Rest In Peace

My Mom passed away in February. A year ago this past week I flew to Alaska to visit with Mom for the last time. We had some laughs and we cried. She held me and I held her. And she gave me some sound motherly advise. She said, "Nadine, remember that you will always be able to hold Jeremy in your heart, he is there". She was a wise woman.

Mom wasn't well and she had some good moments and some not so good. I helped her at meal time and I sat with her while she slept in her chair. She was in a lot of pain and it was hard to watch her grimace when she was moved. She appreciated me being there. The family had Thanksgiving together in a special room set aside for us at Heritage Place.

Mothers have an amazing unconditional love. I was not an easy teenager. I know that's hard to beleive. Mom put up with a lot and she was always there. I am a lot like my Mom and I am thankful for that. She had a good heart and she was generous to a fault. Is that possible? I think it's just a cliche but my Mom fit that description.

Years earlier on a road trip Mom showed Karen and I exactly where she wanted her ashes spread. In May, we fulfilled her wish. Karen, Owen and I took her ashes to that special place. She now rests overlooking the Helena valley in Montana. Rest In Peace Mom. I love and miss you.

McDonald Pass - photo by sister Karen

This afternoon, after we finished writing all of our Christmas cards and getting them ready to mail - complete with our Christmas note, I realized that I neglected to mention that very important event in our year. I don't know why. I'm pretty saddened by that because it had a great emotional impact. By adding this to my blog, I know that those of you who read it might understand why, at this time, I have included this story.

$58.50

Now where can you do this for $58.50 in Canada. Nothing like a cool beverage in the heat. Not included are Pineapple Juice and Orange Juice for Bahama Mama's and 6 bottles of San Pellegrino (for yours truly). Okay, maybe yours truly might have a Bahama Mama or two.

Off for a round of golf.

It's in the mid 70's today so we will shoot a round of golf early. We are on a small par 3 executive course. Just right. From the 1st hole, directly across the road (did I mention it's Wisteria Lane - which I have found out is the name of the street for Desperate Housewives) to the 9th hole, ending right in front of our patio door, it will take about 1.5 hours. A good stretch.

Yesterday and the week ahead

Rick and Dawn with the Salton Sea, Palm Springs and San Andreas Fault as a backdrop

A lone Joshua Tree

A happy group of hikers. The rock formations are magnificent.

We didn't do much of anyhing Monday and today we went to Joshua Tree National Park with Rick and Dawn Wildeman from Robert's Creek. What a beautiful day, blue sky and warm temperatures. Lovely walk, good visit and yummy picnic lunch.

I've managed to rise every morning before 7 and walk a couple of miles around the park. It's my favorite time of day and it's good to be getting the exercise no matter what else I do during the day. The mornings in the desert have been cool, the days sunny and warm, and the evenings are cold. We have no complaints.

The rest of the week is full too. We are out for dinner tonight, Thursday and Friday. Thursday is U.S. Thanksgiving and a small intimate group of 7 are having turkey dinner at the neighbours, Char and Charlotte's. Char and Charlotte are a mom and daughter team that are so darn nice. Char and June are my Desert Hot Springs artists in training friends - with art days and art play days ahead.

I will catch up with you again when the whirlwind of activity slows down to days of 'chilling out'. It will no doubt come to a 'dead stop' when June leaves on Sunday for 18 days in Canada and we move next door.

A Whirlwind of Activity

We've been pretty busy 'relaxing' and socializing since our arrival in Desert Hot Springs. As a guest of June Malchoff's until the 1st of December, one quickly adjusts to living with her bubbling personality and her abundance of generosity. Char and Charlotte joined us for dinner the night of our arrival.

June 'E' in the kitchen building our dinner salad.

It sure felt good to be back and be so warmly welcomed. Day one: Owen and I unpacked, washed vehicles and cleaned our 'clubs'.

Day two: 1st round of golf in a year and a much needed hot tub in the evening. Day three: A small dinner party for 6 to celebrate our return. Day four: Off we went to the La Quinta Blues and Brews festival. An event we attended in 2009 and couldn't miss the chance to go again. The Blues - it was fabulous. I think my favorite was Candye Kane (I came home with 2 of her albums) but all the groups were good. 30 different beers to try!

Hundreds of people come out for the LaQuinta Blues Festival.

Owen and George Grafton enjoying the show. A couple of good looking guys.

Candye Kane - tells it like it is.

We were double dipping that day because the next stop was the Happy Wanderer RV Home Park to see Sue and Joe. Sue parents live in the park and we were there to visit, attend the Chili Cook-Off and hear Joe Stanton play in the desert. It was tons of fun. We will not forget the ride home with the 5 of us in the car on Dillion Road - squealing through the roller coaster waves and listening to June make up lyrics to a few new songs for Joe. He did not invite her to co-write for a new album. No surprise.

Joe Stanton playing the Happy Wanderer RV Park

Willie, Hilde, Sue and Joe at the Happy Wanderer Chili Cook Off

Day five: Next morning included a quick shopping trip to K-mart (an experience Joe would probably preferred to have not endured - he is such a good sport), and decorating for June's 'The Canadians Are Back' party. 52+ Hidden Springs Country Club guests spent the afternoon entertained by Joe and a Trivia game with both Canadian and American trivia. The teams were mixed with Yanks and Canucks and a good time was had by all.

Joe, Sue, Nadine, June and Owen - the Canucks of #245 Wisteria Lane

Does he look mesmerized?

Owen drives 1600 miles and we arrive in the Coachella Valley safe and sound. Did I mention that I drove 5% of the trip? Not sure that counts.

Sister Deb's 60th Birthday

There was a great gathering on Saturday for Deb's birthday. At least 25 plus people showed up to visit and help her celebrate another decade. Congratulations Debbie. You have the most amazing husband and wonderful daughters. We love you.

More Aidan

Aidan with mommy in his 'old man' sweater from Auntie Nadine and Uncle Owen.
Too cute!

Hello Aidan

I finally meet my great nephew after 8 months. Aidan, born in Misawa, Japan, March 13, 2011, Dad (US Airforce) and Mom (my niece Sara), are home on US soil. Matt is currently an Instructor Pilot at Luke Airforce Base just outside of Phoenix.

DO NOT cross the border on a Friday holiday

We are experienced 'border crossers' and knew full well that crossing the border on 11-11-11 was going to try our limited traffic patience. We checked 730 AM radio for the traffic report and the internet before we left Coquitlam at 11 am, thinking we were so smart not leaving until after the early US shoppers rush hour. They said the wait was 1 hour at the Aldergrove crossing and 2 hours plus at Peace Arch and the truck crossing - a no brainer. A quick trip across the Port Mann and off to the Aldergrove crossing. How can 1 hour turn into almost 3 hours? I really should have emptied my bladder at the gas station a few miles before the border. We loaded some tunes into the stereo, I settled into a book and we hunkered down for the stop and go that led us on the longest 6 mile journey in our border crossing history. But with a smile and a nod from the customs officer when we finally 'turtled' across the border, Owen put petal to the metal and we were on our way. BUT not without foul weather.

It blew and rained cats and dogs going through Bellingham. Ominous clouds lurked ahead. Stop and go traffic in Everett. Evening approaching. But we are determined and the new 'ride' delivered us safely into Seattle (Bothell). Deb, Cara, Sara were waiting and we met our new great nephew Aidan for the first time. He is so darn cute.

1st leg of our trip south 2011

A successful colonoscopy yesterday where Dr. Goddard gave me the thumbs up to head south. I know, how can a colonoscopy possibly be successful - anything was better than preparing for it the night before! And today, another test at Lions Gate - an echocardiogram. They said things look just fine.

Lovely sunny day. The leaves were showing off their deep red, yellow, orange, magenta and even purple in the sparkling sunshine. We are spending the night with Mal and Karen and head to Seattle tomorrow. Nice evening with good friends.

The moon is full. I feel close to Jeremy and miss him so darn much.

Apache Prayer

May the sun bring you new energy by day. May the moon softly restore you by night. May the rain wash away your worries. May the breeze blow new strength into your being. May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.

Breathless

Every breath you take is for your child and losing Jeremy has left me breathless.

The Bliss Chicks Celebrate My Birthday With Me

I had a fabulous day yesterday. The Bliss Chicks (my art group made up of 5 wonderful, inspirational women), took me for lunch at the Sushi Bar 5517 in Sechelt. I love it there. We then came back to the studio where they gave me a huge gorgeous basket of gourmet Italian goodies, beautiful hand made birthday cards and presented me with a yummy almond cake/torte, which we all shared in. What a great group of 'chicks', don't you think? We spent the rest of the afternoon making a greeting card using the easel card technique which I had done with sister, Deb, earlier in the year. Way cool. I had a great day which was capped off with dinner out with my husband (see below).

Birthday Dinner

Owen took me out to the Painted Boat for my birthday dinner last night. It was fabulous. I should have had my camera. Many of my family, friends, and students have heard me say that "presentation is everything" and in this case, the presentation was not only elegant but the whole meal proved to be right up there in the 'best ever' category. We chose to have our meal with wine paring. Yep, me too! In total the wine paring only amounted to a large glass of wine but gave us a nice 'taste test' variety. But the menu... I started my meal with Rare Albacore Tuna, Warm Prosciutto, Cucumber & Ginger Water, Soya Couscous; moved on to a main course of Roasted Queen Charlotte Halibut, Root Vegetable Fricassee, Shitake Mushrooms, Dashi Broth and completed the meal with Almond Chili Chocolate Torte, Meringue. Delicious! It was a lovely evening and Owen and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I would recommend the Painted Boat Restaurant for a complete dining experience on the Sunshine Coast. It has a fabulous view and is fine dining in a casual atmosphere at it's best. hmmm, was this a post about my evening out for my birthday or was it a testimonial for the Painted Boat Restaurant???

Birthdays

I have oftened pondered the idea of birthdays. The celebration of the day you were born. The year we 'add on' to each anniversary. Once I thought turning 13 was a milestone, then 16 (legal driving age), then 18, then 21, then 30, 40, 50, 55, and 60. "Why 13 (thirteen)?" The beginning teen years; the year one becomes independent and grown up. A young lady. That was my wish. Whether I accomplished those things at such an early age is unclear. 18 and 21; in one State, 18 was a legal drinking age and in another it was 21. In Canada, I think it went from 21 years old to 19 years old. Either way, one of my claims, was ignoring the legal drinking age! But voting; now that was another story. 21 has always been very important to me. I was 21 in 1970. I was in Canada, no longer living in the United States; unable to vote there and unable to vote here; it meant getting my Canadian Citizenship to be able to have a say in how my government would make decisions (what did I know?). It took me a few years, but I gained my citizenship in 1976. I now exercise my right to vote when the opportunity presents itself; keep in mind our Federal election is only 17 days away - I need to do some serious homework before then. Right now, in Canada, and I imagine throughout the world, many eyes are focusing on the upcoming Royal Wedding, only a mere 14 days away. But I digress... 30 passed me by, then 40. Wow 40. I had no idea it would be such a tremulous year for me, until I reflect back.. At 40, I felt I'd turn some corners, made some important life altering decisions and began to fully appreciate where I'd been and where I was going. 50 was just another year with a new decade in front of me ("Why 55?", you ask - the year of my retirement!) and 60 was just another year, BUT oops - I had major health problems the year I turned 60. I just realized that age 60 went hand and hand with my pancreatic attack. Yikes. A near death experience, months in the hospital, and finally, major surgery. My niece just wrote about the number '3' and things that are in 3's. Since that turning point - age 60 onward - I have had 3 major changes in my life. Health issues (resolved), Jeremy's death and Mom's passing on. Life altering events. On days, like today, when the sun shines, the moon is full and bright, and I open my heart; I breath deep and realize how fortunate I am. I am truly, truly grateful for all that I have had and all that I have. These 60 years plus 2 are good and 62 is just another number. I have a loving family, wonderful friends, a supportive husband, and I am blessed. 62. Yahoo! Happy birthday to me.

Tears

If tears could build a stairway

And memories a lane,

I'd walk right up to heaven

And bring you home again.

A Quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson

My neice, Kirsten, has just started a new blog, Dancing to a New Beat. In a post titled "Materialsim to Minimalism - 365 Days to Becoming my Authentic Self", she quotes Ralph Waldo Emerson "Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." I love that quote. Kirsten further wrote, "To me, this epitomizes freedom of self, freedom from the shackles of a life that I have been merely a casual observer - rather than an enthusiastic particpant. No more! I will live in the sunshine and swim in the sea, and drink in the wild air!! No more will I be a slave to the 'rules' I had no part in creating and never really understood! And whenever the time comes that I must shuffle off of this mortal coil, I want to look back and say that I lived a life of purpose, a life of intent, a life of authenticity, a life of kindness to everything and everyone around me.

You go girl. If even some of us thought of buying into just of portion of your new found committment, what a world it would be.

THE STORY OF THE 'BOOK'

I am sorry it has taken me so long to post photo's of the book that arrived at our house while we were away last winter. It is a book sent to us out of love and I want to share it with my family and friends. And I want each of the contributors to see the completed project. Here is the story of the book:

Days, weeks and months after Jeremy died, I seemed to walk around in a bit of blur. I had to take care of myself and let others take care of me. I was all consumed in my grief. We went away; south, looking for some peace and solace. Returning home was a big step and a difficult one. So many more memories surrounded me and the everyday mundane would once again rear it's head, I would have to struggle through each day.

Our mail had piled up and there on the table sat a box. A regular brown paper covered box. I looked at the return address. It was from my dear friend, Mary in Victoria. Mary, since my illness in August 2007 (which continued to August 2008 when I started to regain my strength) had been sending me cards and presents regularly. They were always full of wonderful surprises. I knew that the box contained just such a gift and with everything else on my mind and having so much to do after being gone so long, I was in no hurry to open it because I knew when I did, I would want to be able to sit quietly and appreciate it. And ofcourse, you know me, I would want to respond, and I wasn't sure I had the energy. So the box sat for a couple of days.

On that day, right after lunch, I decided to open the box. Scissors in hand, I cut open the package. It took a minute for it to register that inside was a book, a collaborative. Being in a circle of artistic friends who are continuely sharing their art by way of collaboration, I knew instantly what it was. And I knew just as quickly that it had everything to do with Jeremy. I was stunned. I sat down, rather heavily and put my head in my hands, and I sobbed. I cried for my loss and cried for the love that surrounded me. I can't explaiin the heaviness that overcame me or the inability to go any further than the first page of the book. Deb Denton's page. I didn't even get the first line read. When I gathered the strength, I pulled the tissue paper over the book, left the book in the box and put it on the dining room table. It sat for four days before I was able to take it out of the box, and it sat for another 4 days before I was able to touch it again. Deb, your page got handled several times in those days. It did not get read... It was over a week before Owen and I sat down together, and together we looked at and read each page, each gift.

After, I looked at the book often and still do. Caressing each page, shedding lots of tears. These women, these artists, put their heart and their love into the following pages, bringing me solice in a time of deep saddness. There is no way to express our thanks. But know that I love you, that I thank you and that I will treasure this keepsake and gift to Jeremy and to Owen and I. AND Ms. Mouat, thank you for your big heart and facilitating this project. You have a huge schedule, one I could not keep up with, and yet you have time to take care of those around you.

I love you all.

The Book

Mary wrote on the inside cover that lists the artist names,

'A book for Nadine and Owen ~ when words fail, Art speaks ~ a project of love'.

Deb Denton, San Diego, CA - Front

Deb Denton, San Diego, CA - Back

Lorraine Stobie, Sunshine Coast, BC - Front

Lorraine Stobie, Sunshine Coast, BC - Back

Laurie Mika, Encinitas, CA - Front

Laurie Mika, Encinitas, CA - Back

Catherine Anderson, Charlotte, NC - Front

Catherine Anderson, Charlotte, NC - Back

Deb May, Burnaby, BC - Front

Deb May, Burnaby, BC - Back

Sherry Springall, New Westminster, BC - Front

Janice Woodland, Burnaby, BC - Front

Janice Woodland, Burnaby, BC - Back

Elspeth Westwood, Sunshine Coast, BC - Front

Dawn Shepherd Nguyen, Issaquah, WA - Front

Dawn Shepherd Nguyen, Issaquah, WA - Back